The Londum Series

The speed of Dark

Excellent book by an up and coming new author. Full of rich characterisation and intriguing plotting.
- The Gosport Evening Gazette.

I couldn't disagree more with The Gosport Evening Gazette book reviewer. The book was trite and uninteresting. A rehash of other books, containing nothing original. A cheapo version of Harry Potter.
 - The Gosport Herald.

Well … The Gosport Herald book reviewer should take a more adult look at the books she is reviewing. There is actually more to life than books on "How To Re-Energize Your Life By Buying More Shoes!" and "Slimming Down … Doing Away With The Unnecessary People In Your Life!"
- The Gosport Evening Gazette.

The Gosport Evening Gazette book reviewer is doing what he always does, belittling a woman's needs because he doesn't understand them. All I ever asked for was to be treated as an equal. And another thing, the Royal Doulton tea set was a wedding present from my Mother. I want it back!
- The Gosport Herald.

The Gosport Herald book reviewer is going off into another of her flights of fancy. No doubt put up to it by her Solicitor at my expense. She is totally overlooking the fact that I gave up being the sports reporter and took up this poncey job of book reviewing just to please her! By the way, the tea set was a present to both of us! Maybe we should just sell it and split the proceeds.
 - The Gosport Evening Gazette.

You Son of a (deleted)! Do you want me to come round there and give you a fat lip?
- The Gosport Herald.

How, the same way you got yours? With Botox injections? Ha Ha!
- The Gosport Evening Gazette.

The Editor. Both of the reviewers should re-think their current attitudes towards their profession. They are supposed to be unbiased journalists but have allowed their personal feelings to get in the way of their professional objectivity.
 
Incidentally, how much are you asking for the Royal Doulton tea set?

The Publisher. Okay, that's it. Everyone stop talking, right now! The lawyers will be in touch with everyone concerned, shortly.